How to annoy your friends, family or coworkers.

Just a few guidelines.  Some of which have been around awhile and some that are my own brainchildren.

 

• Make a daily announcement of the "Word of the Day."  UrbanDictionary.com is a good resource for material.  The word of the day is "snarkoleptic."
• Insist that they call you by your wrestling or pimp name. "That's Reverend Dr. C Ice, to you."
• Answer questions with questions.  If someone says, "What if...." you say "If your sister had a penis would she still be your sister??"
• Have a countdown to a commonplace event and announce status frequently and enthusiastically.  "Two hours 'til lunch!!!"  "Thirty minutes 'til lunch!!!'
• Reply to simple questions with complex answers.  To, "What would you like for lunch?" reply "I don't know.  Let me look into that.  A lot of issues come into play."
• Announce your support of your friend/family member/coworker's presidential candidate of choice.  Then list the numerous reasons you support him-- all of which are the contrasting attributes of the opposing candidate.
• Make known your plans to make a fort over the weekend.  Ask for volunteers to assist.
• Ask for signatures on your petition for a reunion of  J Geils Band.  (Actually, this is just a good idea.  I loved these guys).
• Correct everyone's grammar.... incorrectly.  "It's not 'she does,' it's she DO."
• Enthusiastically pass out copies of your fruitcake recipe.
• Hum.  Constantly.

Deacon Dr. W. Rock:

is my Pimp Handle today. And since I know the USMC moto stuff will get old if applied too frequently (not that I could ever run short of material!) I am going with some other mood-booster goodies today. The first of which is a suggestion for pimping your aura when the going gets tough. We can't all actually be pimps, but we can try to mack like them. What to do when you need a pimp starter set? Go to one of my favorite sites: PlayerAppreciate.com - For The Elevated Player (but only if you aren't offended by 4 letter words used in good fun). In the interest of keeping things random, I will run through the key points in a disorganized fashion, arranged in order of their importance as judged by yours truly.

First, there is the Pimp Name Generator. You enter your name in the box and "have this b!tch kick out some real s#it for you." And if you don't like the first one, you can keep doing it until you are satisfied ("Don't like it? Try that s#it again!").

Next we have the How To Pimp pictorial. Pimp slapping and hailing a taxi are featured topics. A word to the insecure: this could be bad for your self esteem.

I will forego description of the Pimp of the Month as I fear the same pimp has claimed the distinction for many months running. Oh well, even pimps and their fans aren't perfect.

Last but not least, we have the Pimp Gear from IcedOutGear.com. I think we all know at least one hustla worthy of a pimp cup. I, personally, ordered one as a going away gift for a friend of my husband's awhile back. I think my husband secretly wants his own. I'm waiting for just the right occasion to give him the "pimp cup with mad extra trimming all over...."

Moving right along.....

If pimping your name or icing out your gear doesn't do the trick for you, here is another old standby. This is arguably the most ridiculous and most embarrassing guilty pleasure of mine on the web. I want to say for the record that I don't even like South Park. It gets annoying practically before it begins. However, every rule has an exception and this masterpiece is one. I can't begin to guess how many former co-workers have been subjected to this if I happened to be having a bad day. But, I have to say, I've busted more than one person pulling it up themselves. There are some newer and better quality versions out there, but I'm going to share the original that I discovered first out of respect.

Cartman - Come Sail Away

Cheers! =)