How to annoy your friends, family or coworkers.

Just a few guidelines.  Some of which have been around awhile and some that are my own brainchildren.

 

• Make a daily announcement of the "Word of the Day."  UrbanDictionary.com is a good resource for material.  The word of the day is "snarkoleptic."
• Insist that they call you by your wrestling or pimp name. "That's Reverend Dr. C Ice, to you."
• Answer questions with questions.  If someone says, "What if...." you say "If your sister had a penis would she still be your sister??"
• Have a countdown to a commonplace event and announce status frequently and enthusiastically.  "Two hours 'til lunch!!!"  "Thirty minutes 'til lunch!!!'
• Reply to simple questions with complex answers.  To, "What would you like for lunch?" reply "I don't know.  Let me look into that.  A lot of issues come into play."
• Announce your support of your friend/family member/coworker's presidential candidate of choice.  Then list the numerous reasons you support him-- all of which are the contrasting attributes of the opposing candidate.
• Make known your plans to make a fort over the weekend.  Ask for volunteers to assist.
• Ask for signatures on your petition for a reunion of  J Geils Band.  (Actually, this is just a good idea.  I loved these guys).
• Correct everyone's grammar.... incorrectly.  "It's not 'she does,' it's she DO."
• Enthusiastically pass out copies of your fruitcake recipe.
• Hum.  Constantly.