Have you ever felt like the people who don't play be the rules... rule the world? That you and your good intentions will always be in line behind the people who have the audacity to think they deserve to be in front of you, even if you got there first? Just because they are bolder in their self-centeredness? That's how I feel today. 
I have played by the rules at something and lost. I'm not saying I played well or perfectly. Just that I did so with integrity and good intentions. And I lost because I wasn't selfish enough. I wasn't brazen enough and didn't stand up for myself. And that, my dear friends, just sucks. Because as kids we're taught to do unto others as we'd have done to us. The golden rule and manners. Honesty and good character. Well, most of us are taught that even if we do come from dysfunctional families. But I suppose I might be wrong in my assumption that everyone falls into that category. Why am I saying "might?" I most certainly am wrong. Or-- maybe it's not that the selfish winners of the world weren't taught better. Maybe it's that somewhere along the way they learned that nice guys finish last. I've made it through several decades of life without managing to get that through my thick skull.
Actually, I don't think I want to. I think I'd rather pass on any ill-gotten gains. I think I'll stay at the back of the line where I belong. There have been a couple of occasions in my life where I have compromised my value system and it just wasn't the right thing to do. And it's not who I am. So I may be the last one out of the store with my purchases.... but I'd like to think I will enjoy them more in the end because I am who I am. And someone-- if not the person in front of me-- loves me. And I deserve that as much as anyone.
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